20 Weeks. The halfway mark. Wow. It is very surreal. I go tomorrow for the anatomy scan and find out the gender. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, but now I do.
It has been a very long week. I’ve debated about writing about this, but I feel the need to. I need to vent.
These last couple of months have been stressful between being the morning sickness and a financial stress. My husband owns his own business and while he makes good money, we had more going out than in. So, it was tense. But, nothing terrible, I thought. Then, my job switch. More stress on me. I thought, “What more can I take?” Just so you know, that is a terrible question to ask.
My husband came to me last Monday and stated that he wanted to leave. He was unhappy, scared about the pregnancy, and needed a break. Needless to say, that is not what a pregnant wife wants to hear.
And then, it went one step further. I found out he has a “friend” that he has been confiding in. This is a single woman that I do not know (even though I know her family). He had been talking to her about our marital issues. I wasn’t aware we had any beyond being stressed regarding finances/pregnancy. I was not happy. He went looking for “a neutral opinion.” How neutral is it when she doesn’t know me and doesn’t know our history? To top it off, he slept on her couch Monday night.
Sounds terrible, I know. If you’ve been around long enough, you know that my husband committed infidelity. He did so for a number of years before we married and right after we married. Yes, I probably shouldn’t have married him, but I truly believed his actions did not reflect his character.
Fast forward to the last three years where we have been doing wonderfully. No infidelity, no “friends”, zip. I was so proud. I survived infidelity and then, bam! Pregnant. I survived infertility. I felt that God had answered my prayers.
I guess I should of asked Him for a detailed synopsis of what would occur, because this is not what I expected.
I finally communicated with my husband our concerns and stated clearly that to work on our marriage, his friendship with the “friend” had to cease. It hasn’t. He stopped by her mom’s house tonite.
I’ve actually talked to her and both swear it was a platonic friendship. But, I’m not okay with it. She knew my marriage problems before me. She continued to speak to my husband after her and I had a nice woman-to-woman chat. My husband states that I am not going to tell him who he can and cannot be friends with. I’m just not okay with having friends who are not friends of our marriage especially after surviving infidelity. I don’t think it is okay to spend time and effort texting and talking to your “friend” rather than your wife. Am I wrong in this?
Of course, there is more detail to this sad detail, but it sounds like a soap opera and I didn’t want to quite bore you with the story. Just please pray for me.
- How far along? 20 Weeks
- Weight gain/loss? Still fluctuating between 187-191
- How is sleeping? Well…
- Feeling the baby squirm yet? Not yet
- Aversions/Cravings? Not really. Since morning sickness has eased off, I just have to remind myself to eat.
- Gender? Find out tomorrow🙂
- What do you miss? A calm life.
- Any stretch marks? nada
- How is your belly button? Poking out some.
- Still wearing your rings? Negative
- Labor signs? It’s way too early for that!
- Upcoming appointments? Tomorrow!
- How is your mood? Sad
- What are you looking forward to? Tomorrow
a devastated me.